I went to Shiloh. I forgot it rained last night and my shoes got all fucking muddy and shit and I almost slipped and fell in the mud. It was fun. I wanted to go down to the spot Priscilla and I were at yesterday but I didn't feel like breaking my neck. So I just took the long walk back to my car. Anyways, I was just chillin in my car listening to music and I felt really in tune with nature. It was weird. I felt at peace. While I was walking along on the trail, I saw myself entangled in a big spider web and it was like life's secrets was revealed to me at that moment.

Now, I feel like it's my time to go. I visualized shooting myself in the head at Shiloh and saw all the bugs and shit eating my decomposing body. That would be the perfect death, to die in nature. I'm not even suicidal right now. Okay, it may seem like I am because I was just talking about shooting myself in the head. But it's not because my life sucks and I want it all to end type of thing, I just feel that it's my time to go. Don't ask me why. I just do. I feel as if it's my time to be in another place. Don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself. I like life too much. I don't know. I feel trapped. Society itself makes me feel trapped. But I have no choice but to be apart of it. It's like nature doesn't have a choice of being part of it either. Eventually, the people in this society will kill me just like we kill nature. My time will come though. Now I just have to live. I have some how become very spiritual. Wait, I have always been a very spiritual person.

In this world, in this life, we are all nothing. We're all tangled in the same web but in the end, we're nothing. For some reason, that thought brings me a lot of peace. It's kind of depressing sounding, but it brings peace to my mind. I'm just here. I'm just me. Trying to survive in the environment that I was put in, no different then any other creature on this planet. We're all built from one thing. Survival.

What a depressing thought. Haha.

There is no great mystery to solve. There is no secret of life.

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